You feel everything — and then some

You sense the shift in someone’s tone.
You notice when something’s “off,” even if no one else does.
You might try to pre-empt upset, smooth things over, or hold back your own feelings so others don’t feel worse.

It’s like you have an emotional radar that’s always switched on — tuned to everyone else’s weather.

If someone around you feels hurt, disappointed, or angry, your reflex might be to fix it — even if it’s not your fault or responsibility.

Over time, this can feel less like compassion — and more like pressure.

Where does it come from?

This kind of emotional over-functioning often starts early.

Maybe you grew up in a home where you had to stay attuned to other people’s moods to stay safe or connected.
Maybe you were praised for being “mature for your age,” or for not causing trouble.
Maybe no one ever really asked how you felt — but you learned to be there for everyone else.

In some families, it’s not safe to express certain emotions — so kids become caretakers, peacekeepers, or emotional sponges.

And when you’ve learned that love means tuning into others, it can feel unnatural — even wrong — to centre your own feelings.

When empathy becomes a burden

Caring deeply isn’t the problem — but carrying what isn’t yours to carry can leave you drained, anxious, or quietly resentful.

You might:

• Struggle to set emotional boundaries
• Take on guilt for things outside your control
• Feel over-responsible for others’ moods
• Absorb distress even when it’s unspoken

Therapists sometimes refer to this as blurred boundaries or enmeshment — where the lines between self and other get fuzzy.

It’s not about blame — it’s about awareness.
Because even empathy needs edges.

Guilt often gets in the way

One of the hardest parts of setting emotional boundaries is the guilt.

You might think:

• “I’m being selfish.”
• “They’ll think I don’t care.”
• “If I don’t help, who will?”

But guilt doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong.
Sometimes it just means you’re doing something new.

Therapy can help tease apart healthy care from over-responsibility — and help you notice when guilt is signaling real misalignment, vs. when it’s just a growing pain of change.

Therapy can help you come back to yourself

This isn’t about becoming “less caring.” It’s about including yourself in the circle of care.

In therapy, we might explore:

• How these patterns developed — and how they show up now
• Where your boundaries feel clear vs. where they feel porous
• What it’s like to consider your own emotions without guilt

We can also explore and practise boundary scripts — simple, respectful phrases that help you express your limits without shutting others out.

Things like:

• “I really want to support you, but I need a moment to gather myself first.”
• “I care about how you’re feeling — and I also need to take care of my own energy right now.”
• “Can we talk about this a bit later when I’m less depleted?”

Having language ready can make it easier to honour both your care for others and your care for yourself.

Because your job isn’t to keep everyone happy at the expense of yourself.

You’re allowed to care deeply — and still have space to breathe.